TeleVixen

Debuts of all kinds!

Television's a big-ish part of my life, so I've decided that I shall blog about it. Australian television, you are no longer safe from the tapping fingers of TeleVixen!

Anyways!

I'm watching the debut of Australian Princess on channel 10. It's hosted by Jackie 0, the irritating blonde radio lady who reminds me of Malibu Barbie, except that Malibu Barbie drowned in the dam on the farm).

And so we meet the ladies, all 14 of them. They seem to be a pleasant enough variety of thin women with the occasional token non-size 8. Learning how to hold a champagne glass, how to eat canapes, how to be thin, a bit thinner, a bit more blonde and a bit more elegant.

We meet some interesting people.

Paul Burrell, Princess Dianna's former butler, who seems to have gone so far up himself that he has actually appeared out of the other side. However, as the show progresses, he proves himself to be rather amusing, so I can forgive him.

The Australian etiquette lady. She makes harsh comments about women needing to lose weight whilst looking like a partially melted wax-work herself. Hmm.

And of course, Sarah Ferguson's sister, who has a gorgeously syruped British accent.

And now we get to meet the Prince Charming. Oh please let him look like royal men really tend to look (ie: Prince Phillip). Real royal husbands so rarely seem to look like Princess Mary's delectable husband! Anyway, the prince is from Kiev or something like that, and his name is Marek. He has ancestors that look frigheningly like my great grandparents. But he looks pleasant and amusing and has a large nose.

Now the lady who's the Etiquette Bitch (I shall call her that from now on) is saying that Kristi has "zero personality." Mmm, I can taste the bitchiness from here, and they're all the way up in Sydney or something. So she takes them off to do needle-work. Is that a punishment or a reward? Not sure yet... Oh, it's to "teach the art of patience."

"The problem with Veronika is that she always has a frown..." says Etiquette Bitch, which is total rubbish.

Blubbering about Princess Di. Hmm.

Ooh, the cocktail party challenge coming up after the break, and then... down to ten! Shock! Horror! And now for lots of ads for makeup, hair stuff and anorexia. Oh wait, I'm joking about the last one... I think.

*flick to cricket and appreciate it because I think that Australian Princess was starting to melt my brain*

Paul Burrell talking about the Queen scheduling everything by hour for the whole day, lunch and how to use your forks properly (to perhaps stab each other?).

Now getting ready for the cocktail party. Hurrah! Lots of makeup, dresses, 1980s hairdo's and it makes me think that I'm never going to be a princess. Thank God. But I should do something about an image change for the sake of it sometime, though.

And the party! Some of the women look excellent, some not quite so exellent. Some are scary. Especially some of the hair-do's that some ladies have. Nasty. And curtseying? Hmm. That Etiquette Bitch is really awful. The way she receieves people in greeting is far from gracious and perhaps she should have a look at her own etiquette advice. What a rude old baggage!

The 19 year-old from Canberra thinks that she is automatically a princess, but is also ignorant and has hair that is too big. Way too big. I agree with Paul Burrell about wanting to knock her block off. She thinks she's a princess EVERYWHERE. Please do not let her be the only child... she'll give us all a bad name :(

Amen to Zanna about wanting to say that if she gets kicked off she's going to deamand to know whether it's because she's not a stick! You go girl! *dances* I'm hoping she wins already *lol*

Oh Etiquette Bitch, you are so horrible. Which just goes to show that although you might know the right fork to use from a selection of 12 for your salad, you can still be a horrible, unpleasant and not that good a person.

So the kicking out. Who's going tonight? (Yay! Not Zanna!)

And now after the break, we find out who's leaving. The pretty red-haired lady, two blondes and a brunette are going. Never knew their names.

And it ran over time and made me miss the first nine minutes of Spicks and Specks on the ABC! Dammit! Although running over time is a feature of Channel 10 this year... *shakes fist*

posted by Della @ 8:45 pm