Monday, February 20, 2006

Sanity! Gone!

EWWWWWWWW!

It's definitely very wrong to flick to SBS and find a random European movie with a scene of people making out/humping like wild monkeys to...

The Venga Boys!

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

Double trauma!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Channel 9 Nursing Home

*cue scene*

Old programs and ideas, shuffling around with zimmer frames, occasional mutterings about the "glory days," cop shows remembering when people gave a damn about CSI...

There's a dear, Channel 9, be good and take your medication... no, no, you'll never be young and sprightly like Channel 7 is or have potential like Channel 10... You're here now in a nursing home, dear... no-one wants to see you any more. Yes, that's right, we'll pop down to the games room in a few minutes for Family Feud, although I think you'll be the only one there watching it.

You used to be young once, Channel 9. Mmm... yes, I remember when Channel 7 used to be the station for the "oldies." Well, you did live a full life back in the day. No, no-one wants to see photos of your dear little CSI, so tragically cut in half. Just please, put something decent on and let's go before it's all too late...

Got Channel 9 rage?

Nine's latest embarrassment
Sam Chisholm responds
They're not monsters

(scroll down a long way on the monsters one and I challenge you to not burst out laughing at: Channel Nine 06 is an ultimate sad reflection of the programming style of Sam Chisholm: rooted in the past. As a result, Channel Nine and Chisholm seem to be now rooted in the present. Posted by: LJ)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Gift Horse?*

Poison.

Insidious, not always easy to pin-point, painful, becoming the asassin's weapon of choice once again as it used to be in the Middle Ages...

Just watched a show about poisons and their use relating to Lab X in Russia, mostly focusing on Viktor Yuschenko's poisoning in the 2004 Ukrainian elections, with some sprinklings of stories about Russian and former USSR politicians, journalists and business people who have been poisoned (including Stalin, in a speculative kind of way).

It's a worry. Kind of scary... All of the potentials of pain, death, disfigurement, all of that kind of thing, just because someone doesn't agree with another.

As one guy on the show said, God has given us life and we humans have spent time working out tens of thousands of ways to kill each other.

*Those who know German will know that "Gift" in German means "poison," thus explaining the pun...

Thursday, February 02, 2006

WWYDTIAT?

Of course, WWYDTIAT stands for:

What Would You Do To Improve Aussie Television!

So, any ideas?

What do you want to see on TV? What would you do to improve local content? What ideas do you have for shows about Australians done here in Australia? Are you going to start a campaign to bring back Blue Heelers? Are you glad that Headland was fed to an early-ish death?

What could replace it?

Do we need more Aussie comedy? Would you want to have a Big Brother series where they have to complete the tasks or the house will be blown up with them inside it? Dreaming of a Newlyweds-style show with Bec Cartwright and Lletyon Hewit? (*insert collective shudder and projectile vomiting at the thought of the poetry they'd do*)

C'mon, spill your guts! :)

Have you found your darkplace yet?

There aren't really that many shows that I stop and go, "Wait a minute, that's a bit disturbing!" about. However, I think I've found one. It's on Monday nights on SBS and is entitled Garth Merenghi's Darkplace.

There's a lot of homages paid to old horror movies, 70s and 80s shows (some of the retro clothes are scary, so be warned!), hospital dramas and so on, and although it deals with horror-style themes (like the first episode where a gateway to hell is opened in the hospital, Garth's friend explodes, comes back from the dead and so on) (not to mention the shoot-up/flamethrower/etc at the funeral bit), it's not scary.

Just odd.

Well, disturbing-style odd. The sort of odd that makes you laugh while thinking, "It's not really that funny; I think I'm laughing because it's such a ridiculous premise and if I don't laugh I think I might puke on something..."

"I don't know whether that scene was meant to represent anybody, if it was a friend of Garths who had exploded, or a pet..." - Thornton Reed (character).

New Year, New Shows

New programs coming up for the year, with in-a-nutshell analysis.

I'm really glad that we're going to be getting Bleak House. From what I've heard about it, it's fantastic, and it has Gillian Anderson in it, who is a good actor. It'll be interesting to see her in her role in the production (and see whether or not I just think of the X-files whenever she appears on screen). Also looking fantastically forward to Shakespeare Retold, which I believe came from the re-doing of the Canterbury Tales that we had last year.

Shows that I'm not sure will succeed this year from the list of newbies: Bones (like they say, old concept, it doesn't sound interesting), Clever (we've got Mythbusters and Brainiac, why does Channel 9 want to try to cash in now?), The Evidence (boring premise), Friday Night Games (which I think will last for a few weeks... and then everyone will discover that they have to clean the oven when it's on), Life Begins (who knows...), The Secret (meh), The Triangle (who cares?), The War at Home (reading some things yesterday reminded me that although I felt nostalgia for Married... With Children, the show actually sucked the big light sabre) and Where Are They Now? (not far enough away),.

Possible surprise success: The Wedge. If it's really like Little Britain, it could stand some kind of a chance.